


Even heroes need to eat.

by 7Squid



Category: Multi-Fandom, Original Work, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Food, Gen, Mentions of Attack on Titans, Mentions of Spider-man, One Shot, delivery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:40:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4622277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7Squid/pseuds/7Squid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a Shawarma shop that is still open after alien invasion, why not a delivery service? Inspired by an SnK|AoT fic i read on FF.net about pizza delivery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even heroes need to eat.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Deliverance](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/138294) by Tramontana Keeper. 



> This just popped up in my brain after reading an AoT fic at FF.net. I do not own any Marvel, DC or Isayama's characters or settings, but MUHFDS and the related characters are mine. I'm sorry for any OOC, I'm relatively new to writing in fandoms, and this is about the first time I'm brave enough to publish anything at all. Unbeta-ed. Mistakes all mine. Con-crit welcome.

The sound of phones ringing and keyboards clacking never ceased in this room. Various maps and coordination screens fill the boards with red pins showing the exact location of the dispatchers.

A woman is seen talking into her headphone’s mic. “Muds HQ – right. I got your request. 10 minutes, ok.” Blank expression plastered to her face, her nimble fingers flew across the keyboard.

“Quardrant G, Sector 2.3 needs a dispatcher for a category B6 and C17.” Looking up, the hub coordinator calls out to her partner sat across the desk.

“Again?” Rising from his chair and gearing up, the man grumbled.

Typing into her station she quickly inputted the data. “Seems like there’s a major hold-up today. They keep restocking supplies. Rendezvous information and destination coordinates have been sent to your phone. You’ve got 10 minutes.”

“Yes ma’am. Is the time portal open yet?” he enquired while heading towards the door.

“It should be, I haven’t got anyone recorded to be in there as of this second.” Engrossed in her data flow, she barely glanced at him.

“Punch in the right coordinates this time, please. I don’t fancy landing face first again.”

Still not looking up from her station, the women jibed back. “Hey, it was either your face or your butt. Face was funnier.”

* * *

“Delivery for Mr. America?”

“Sorry?” Captain America collected his shield and hid behind a car before looking incredulously at the delivery boy.

“Mr. Captain America, requesting for 2 extra large pepperoni pizzas, 1 large Hawaiian, a large Veggie pizza, 12 cheese burgers, 6 Shawarmas, and a triple extra big portion of pork roast noodles quote – for the big guy – quote.”

“Oh! You’re quick.” Shooting a quick arrow, Hawkeye caught the whiff of food and skidded towards them.

“We strive to bring the best services within allocated time, sir. That would be 74 dollars.”

After seeing Hawkeye’s signal for food, Black Widow threw a quick punch before doing a forward roll towards the growing group behind the car.

“Right! Pause! Guys! Lunch break!” Iron man signalled temporary cease fire to all the forces. However, the shooting didn’t seem to stop.

“…or not.” Iron man took off his mask, grabbed a shawarma and took a big bite before flying out again. “Boys, and Nat, don’t touch my shawarma!” Wordlessly they took turns hiding behind the almighty (bent but seemingly indestructible) New York yellow cab and scarfed down their food.

The unnamed delivery boy received the 100 dollar bill and quietly slides it in his bag pack, got onto his transportation device and left, satisfied that he landed feet first this time.

The nice view of Black Widow’s ass didn’t hurt either.

* * *

MUHFDS (pronounced “muds”) headquarters prides itself with a non-stop work force. Taking calls from any and all universes, they ensure they are able to cater to the needs of our beloved heroes. Delivery is a serious issue and no one should be left hungry in any circumstances, despite awkward situations. Especially in awkward situations where you are left with no weapon, a trail of enemies behind you, a nuclear threat needing to be diffused. Last thing you need in your mind is being hungry while saving the world.

Therefore, a secret organisation has been formed in liaison with all the food chains providing delivery services. We deliver anywhere and everywhere, including “the galaxy far far away”. If a hero (or anti-hero) ***** requests a delivery to a place they do not deliver, that is where we come in. We pick up the goods and send it right to your hands piping hot.

_***** sometimes the villains themselves call too, but they rarely get into positions where they don’t feed themselves first though._

We have gained recognition as a neutral non-combatant under the Geneva Convention and has gained the general status of “neutral body” under all existing conventions within any worlds and universes. However, we are always ready to fight to defend and keep your food safe. We are combat ready.

Our professionals are skilled and deals with any situation with ease. We have delivered through gun fires, fights with monsters and aliens, through robot armies, aftermath of apocalypses, bombings and more. Our sophisticated technology has enabled us to work through time space without interfering with the continuum. We take pride in our work and is dedicated to serve the stomachs of our beloved heroes. 

* * *

“How’s the delivery?”

“Feet first was a bonus. The Captain seemed like a nice guy, decent tipper, better than Spidey the last time round. Oh, and I got to see Black Widow again. Can’t get over how hot she is in real life though.”

“Spidey was short of cash that round. When Joseph went he got a big tip. You’re just unlucky.”

“Dammit, I knew I should’ve asked the damn Octopus to pay first.”

At that moment, the headphone beeped again. “Multi Universe Heroes Food Delivery Services, what is your request today?”

Looking at the request form on the screen, the dispatcher groaned. “B6. I’ve had it with the smell of burgers. Joseph you’re taking this!”

“Are you sure? It’s a big tipper, this one.”

“I don’t care – I just picked up my 6th round of burgers today, I reek and I don’t want to smell another badly cooked greasy beef patty for the day.”

“Joe, the information’s in your phone, location has been changed. Titans territory, 34 klicks south of Shiganshina district. The commander should be in one of the trees.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. Just make sure there’s a damn horse there when I land.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I'm very new here on AO3, and in publishing fanfics in general, so if I mess up on any tags/warnings/formatting/etc.... please tell me what to do!   
> (Bonus: anyone caught the nod to RWBY?)


End file.
